One of the passive destructive behaviors measured by the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) instrument is called Self-Criticizing. This occurs when one obsesses over something they may have said or done in a conflict. The CDP measures how frequently a person uses this response to conflict. A little reflection about how you handled a conflict can probably be helpful by enabling you to learn from your mistakes. At the same time focusing on your mistakes by going over them time and again in your mind can sap your energy and prevent you from moving forward. How can you find the right… Continue Reading Criticizing Your Performance in Conflict
Read More
Posts by Matt Dreger
Polarization and Conflict
During recent months heated exchanges that have been highlighted in the media have led some to describe a “coarsening” of our national discourse. The conflicts seem to point to polarization that could make collaboration unachievable. In Becoming a Conflict Competent Leader, Tim Flanagan and Craig Runde introduced the concept of “intensity levels” of conflict. On the lower end differences and misunderstandings are part of our normal experience and can be overcome by taking time to listen carefully to one another. When these are not managed they can grow into disagreements which require more effort to resolve. When conflict is avoided or… Continue Reading Polarization and Conflict
Read More
Conflict and Emotions
Mergers, Acquisitions and Conflict
The Untrustworthy Hot Button
How We Describe Conflict
When doing a program on conflict management, I’ll often ask people what words come to mind when they think about conflict. Typically responses include: frustrating, stressful, anger, upset, fear, and anxiety. Participants, when asked to characterize their responses, almost always describe them as negative. At the same time they almost always give a few words that could be viewed as positive such as: opportunity, growth, and resolution. From 2003-2005 we asked people being certified in the Conflict Dynamics Profile to share words that described conflict for them. They shared over 170 words which depicted a wide range of attitudes towards… Continue Reading How We Describe Conflict
Read More
Generational Conflict
A couple of recent items caught our attention about generational conflict. Deanna Hartley addressed the subject in an article in the November issue of Talent Management entitled “How to Resolve Generational Conflicts in the Workplace.” In her article Ms. Hartley emphasized the misunderstandings that emerge when people from different generations make assumptions about one another and when they expect people from other generations to necessarily share their own values. Dr. Rick Voyles presented on the subject at the Southeastern Summit on Conflict Resolution in Atlanta in September. In his talk Rick contrasted the values of people in the Boomer and Gen X generations. He showed how… Continue Reading Generational Conflict
Read More
Client Use Case | Government | Lealman Fire District
Book Review: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY Model
The Value of Managing Conflict Effectively
Organizations want to know what kind of return on investment can come from improving their managers’ and employees’ ability to handle conflict effectively. It is a similar question to those asked about other types of training. In the case of conflict, the answer is easier to give. Cost Savings The Mediation Training Institute’s Organizational Cost of Conflict Measure provides an excellent tool for analyzing the out of pocket costs of conflict (www.mediationworks.com). It categorizes a number of cost factors related to conflict and provides a means of estimating these costs for an organization. Some of the key costs include managerial… Continue Reading The Value of Managing Conflict Effectively
Read More