Conflict is rife with emotion. One that we frequently encounter is anger. While it is often a secondary emotion that is initially triggered by fear, anger is more visible and can trigger ineffective responses to conflict. One of the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) active destructive responses is Displaying Anger which involves acting out the inner emotion. Angry displays can include raising one’s voice, swearing, and physical displays like slamming your hand on a table. Suppressed anger can also leak out as demeaning or retaliatory behaviors. In MTI’s Retaliatory Cycle, it is anger that fuels the wrong reflexes of Walk-aways and… Continue Reading 5 Steps to Control Your Anger
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Archives for Managing Emotions
The Role of Emotional Self Regulation
Recent research has found that improved emotion regulation can prevent task conflict from turning into relationship conflict. (1) This means that improving self-awareness of your own hot buttons, learning how to delay your responses, and developing ways to cool down in the heat of conflict can help you resolve conflicts more effectively and avoid exacerbating matters. REFLECT ON YOUR TRIGGERS Learning more about your hot buttons helps prevent you from getting caught off guard when someone acts in a way that pushes one of your buttons. If you have taken time to reflect on why certain behaviors irritate you as… Continue Reading The Role of Emotional Self Regulation
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Take a Personal Time Out
CDP Behaviors: Creating Solutions and Reflective Thinking
After taking time to understand the other person’s perspective and sharing your own thoughts and feelings about a conflict, it comes time to look at what you can do to come up with a resolution to the problem that can work for you and the other person. While it seems obvious why the solution should work for you, there are times when we yield to others and generate one-sided solutions that do not meet our own interests. Likewise, there are times when we try to win at all costs even if it means the other person’s interests are disregarded. In… Continue Reading CDP Behaviors: Creating Solutions and Reflective Thinking
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Perspective Taking and Emotions
Confidence in Resolving Conflict
Confidence in Resolving Conflict Having confidence to resolve conflicts is an important part of the process. There are myriad reasons why you might lack confidence when faced with a conflict: fear, discomfort, previous negative encounters, lack of skill, knowledge, or experience, etc. Let’s look at these issues and how they affect your ability to effectively manage conflict. Recognize the signs of low self-confidence. When you’re not confident about dealing with conflict, you tend to doubt your abilities, second-guess yourself, and be hesitant about trusting your own judgment. You also might be pessimistic about a successful outcome which, in turn, gives… Continue Reading Confidence in Resolving Conflict
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Conflict Competence
DEFINING CONFLICT COMPETENCE Conflict competence is the ability to develop and use cognitive, emotional, and behavioral skills that enhance productive outcomes of conflict while reducing the likelihood of escalation or harm. The results of conflict competence include improved quality of relationships, creative solutions, and lasting agreements for addressing challenges and opportunities in the future. As with all competencies, people can learn ways to improve, change, and develop. We believe that those with a keen sense of self awareness are well positioned to develop conflict competence. This requires honesty and objectivity. It requires seeking feedback from others. We recommend using assessment… Continue Reading Conflict Competence
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Giving In to Avoid Conflict
When asked to describe conflict, most people use negative words. They often indicate that they prefer to avoid dealing with it when possible. This leads to a particular kind of passive destructive behavior described in the Conflict Dynamics Profile as Yielding. Yielding involves giving in to the other person or accommodating them in order not to have to address the conflict directly. In practice it may sound something like, “Ok, we’ll do it your way” or “Whatever you want – I’ll go along.” Yielding is described as a destructive behavior for several reasons. First, the person who yields may get… Continue Reading Giving In to Avoid Conflict
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