Conflicts often begin because people are wedded to their own positions and don’t want to take the time to truly understand someone else’s point of view. In other words, we spend a lot of effort, time, and energy defending our own agenda or trying to convince other people to change their minds rather than creating a conversation where ideas are truly explored or illuminated. Effective questioning during a conflict can change the outcome dramatically because it Promotes better listening Deepens understanding of all the information being presented, and Increases overall learning. Listening Several studies have demonstrated the importance of listening… Continue Reading The Use of Questioning During Conflict
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Archives for Uncategorized
Generational Conflict
A couple of recent items caught our attention about generational conflict. Deanna Hartley addressed the subject in an article in the November issue of Talent Management entitled “How to Resolve Generational Conflicts in the Workplace.” In her article Ms. Hartley emphasized the misunderstandings that emerge when people from different generations make assumptions about one another and when they expect people from other generations to necessarily share their own values. Dr. Rick Voyles presented on the subject at the Southeastern Summit on Conflict Resolution in Atlanta in September. In his talk Rick contrasted the values of people in the Boomer and Gen X generations. He showed how… Continue Reading Generational Conflict
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Leadership, Conflict, and Authenticity
As the 2012 election gets closer, many political commentators have identified “authenticity” as a critical attribute for potential candidates. When it comes to leadership and conflict, what is “authenticity,” and why is it so important? The dictionary describes “authenticity” as “genuine” or “real.” In other words, it means being true to who you really are, knowing your values, and living them out consistently. In a world filled with new media and widespread access to data, people are constantly being bombarded with all kinds of messages. It’s no wonder everyone craves knowing what is really true and trustworthy about a person.… Continue Reading Leadership, Conflict, and Authenticity
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Book Review: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY Model
The Value of Managing Conflict Effectively
Organizations want to know what kind of return on investment can come from improving their managers’ and employees’ ability to handle conflict effectively. It is a similar question to those asked about other types of training. In the case of conflict, the answer is easier to give. Cost Savings The Mediation Training Institute’s Organizational Cost of Conflict Measure provides an excellent tool for analyzing the out of pocket costs of conflict (www.mediationworks.com). It categorizes a number of cost factors related to conflict and provides a means of estimating these costs for an organization. Some of the key costs include managerial… Continue Reading The Value of Managing Conflict Effectively
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Slowing Down and Reflecting on Conflict
Expressing Emotions – why, in the workplace, is it so hard to talk about feelings?
Emotions can be defined as a spontaneous rather than conscious feeling. They can be feelings of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate and love. Emotions are an unavoidable part of being human. When we recognize that someone else is preventing us from achieving our goals or preventing us from getting what we want, emotions often heat up and conflict becomes the inevitable result. Apparent threats or signs of disrespect may cause emotions to seethe. The intensity of the emotion signifies its importance to us. Therefore the more important the situation and the stronger we feel about it, the more likely the conflict… Continue Reading Expressing Emotions – why, in the workplace, is it so hard to talk about feelings?
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Anger and Conflict
Conflict is rife with emotion. One that we frequently encounter is anger. While it is often a secondary emotion that is initially triggered by fear, anger is more visible and can trigger ineffective responses to conflict. One of the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) active destructive responses is Displaying Anger which involves acting out the inner emotion. Angry displays can include raising one’s voice, swearing, and physical displays like slamming your hand on a table. Suppressed anger can also leak out as demeaning or retaliatory behaviors. These types of responses tend to escalate and prolong conflict because the emotions of the… Continue Reading Anger and Conflict
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Spotlight on… Dennis M. Dennis
Title: Founding Principal Company: Care Full Conflict, LLC City: Redmond, Washington (world headquarters for Microsoft and Care Full Conflict, LLC) Web site: www.carefullconflict.com Phone: 206-369-8732 Years in this position: 4 Years in conflict training: 30+ What inspired you to pursue a career in coaching, training or consulting? As an undergraduate I was deeply involved in the emerging field of community mental health. One of the key strategies of this approach was using a consultation model to create healthy systems and organizations as a means to preventing certain types of mental illness. Later, as a graduate student in psychology at Purdue,… Continue Reading Spotlight on… Dennis M. Dennis
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The Value of Becoming Conflict Competent
In our books on conflict competence, we have explored not only how to improve competence but perhaps more importantly—why. In order to make the effort to change patterns of thinking and behavior, adults need to have a good reason. Fortunately, in the case of conflict, there are many that can benefit both individuals and organizations. People usually think of conflict as something negative and as a consequence their initial reaction is either to avoid it or to try to do something that makes it go away. In line with this thinking, the key benefit of conflict competence is lowering the… Continue Reading The Value of Becoming Conflict Competent
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